I was tagged by @heckofabecca, so I went through my entire list of works and picked out what I thought were the better opening sentences, starting from the oldest. Had to stop about one-third of the way through, so might come back and do more later. I pay more attention to my closing sentences, I think that’s obvious, and tend to think of my openers as opening paragraphs instead of just the opening sentence. So here’s a long list, borrowing her format:
1. Wall the Heart (The “Manchurian Agent in Menegroth” fic)
It is the scream that draws Elu’s attention, a scream that sounds like it should come from the throat of an injured animal rather than that of an elf.
Good horror opening, immediate action and set-up of the question: who is screaming and why. And that things are behaving as they shouldn’t.
2. family and wolves (Elu Thingol and Beren)
As the Great Wolf of Angband lunges toward Elu Thingol, King of Doriath, the fetid breath reeking of poison and blackened meat, thorn splinters and broken spears flying through the air and the screams of his soldiers and the baying of the Hound of Valinor overshadowing all, he has time for one frozen thought.
I like this entire fic, and yes, the opening is one of those long ‘heget sure loves her clauses‘ where I could have removed everything from after ‘Thingol’ to ‘he has time’, but I love my sensory imagery, and the contrast of all the chaos and movement and our main character still.
3. In the camps of the Bór (Easterling woman has second thoughts after the Third Kinslaying)
The camp is full of noise long before Kreka sees the red banners of her liege lord, the Bright Ones.
Setting and original main character established quickly, the use of The Bright Ones as this unfamiliar group term to highlight that this is a new perspective than one we get in The Silmarillion, but close enough to established terminology as to not feel too out of place. Red banners as a strong visual cue and one that a Tolkien fan should hopefully peg as either Fëanorian or from LotR maybe think of the Easterling army under Sauron.
4. Feasting with the Lions of Valmar (Vanyar royal family as the War of Wrath begins)
“Let me lead the armies of our people,” Ingwion petitioned to his father.
okay, I’m including the next line as well:
“Let me stand for you and command our people when we cross the sea and wage this final war against the renegade as the Valar have commanded.
Starting in the middle of dialogue. Getting directly to the point and conflict of this scene. We know exactly who the protagonist is and who the other important character is. Father-son drama, gonna make daddy proud of me, and the time period is firmly established. And this hooks the reader into wondering what Ingwë’s answer will be.
5. Grief is an Undertow (Falmari OC going back to Beleriand with a vengeance)
The ships that carried Ilsë from the shores of Middle-earth, parting her from her mother, father, sister, brother, uncles, was pulled by swans.
The dichotomy of ships leaving with the implied ships returning. Main character Ilsë. While not mentioning by name, the Swan-ships loom over. And most of all this cadence of listing out family. It is the drumbeat that pounds throughout this fic and drives everything.
6. The Brides of Death (Flower crowns)
Nóm has many questions, but he never asks about the wreath Andreth wears in her hair, the white berries of the mistletoe, the needles of the yew, the star-like purple nightshade flowers, and the white clusters of celery or carrot in place of the water dropwort.
I used this opening line- the fist part- as the summary of the fic because it was so good. Me and lists again. Andreth has knowledge but Finrod isn’t questioning her about this one thing. Mistletoe and nightshade – readers already know these are plants of death.
7. Neighborhood Watch (Don’t forget Fëanor’s xenophobic rhetoric)
Finrod tells Balan it is not wise, is not entirely safe, to stay in Ossiriand.
Short sentence opening! And the use of the clause to give these sense that Finrod is equivocating to Bëor, trying not to outright admit to the mortal or even himself what his real fears are. Plus, wise -Noldor- Nóm …I’m easily amused.
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