misbehavingmaiar:

The Cats of Mordor– RivkaZ 2017

I fear that to me Siamese cats belong to the fauna of Mordor, but you need not tell the cat breeder that.“― J.R.R. Tolkien, Letter 219

“Moon-Diamond Cats”, the emissary called them; one of seventeen types of auspicious cat that could bring prosperity and luck to their keepers. Six breeding pairs, and one litter of kittens (born during the long voyage over the Encircling Sea), had come on the trading convoy of a great king from lands far to the south east of Harad– a gift to the Lord of Mordor and its vassal states.

“I am more accustomed by far to the company of wolves, but these creatures also are to my liking,” said the Lord of Mordor, and promised they would be treated with utmost hospitality, and that for however many generations the cats chose to make their home in his kingdom, they would be welcome. Gold and iron and scrolls of lore were given in return, many times the weight of the lissome beasts they bought. From then on, cats would live in the grand palaces of Umbar, and as guardians in the Temple of the Giver of Freedom, and even in Barad-dûr at the foot of Sauron himself, for they delighted him. 

And so it was, even after the eastern empire fell, and rose for a time in shadow, and fell once more, the cats of Mordor, who live still in the crumbling gardens at Umbar and run feral in the port cities of South Gondor, have ink-dipped points, and a diamond stain over the bright moons of their eyes. 

still saying that Siamese are Amanyar Vanyar cats because of science

The one time I am Sauron

every aquarist ever be like

fuyunoakegata:

katzedecimal:

eighteenbelow:

iconuk01:

lizawithazed:

saintrobot:

kaijutegu:

lunationgeckos:

kaijutegu:

thiskitty-ispissed-the-fuckoff:

byntendo:

😭where did y’all even find this I’m dead

It’s in the Super Dictionary, a flawless piece of literature that has such other wonderful situations such as cake theft…

shoe-stealing whales…

Green Lantern and Green Arrow fleeing an angry mob (also a duck is involved)…

and “please help me.”

One of my greatest regrets is not owning this book. 

Some more highlights from the Super Dictionary:

Superman is friends with a giant who has no teaspoons.

Green Lantern looks at animals.

Joker and Batman are dating.

Robin gets tied up a lot.

Robin in general has a very bad time.

Supergirl’s text says “afraid” but her eyes say something else entirely.

Superman invites literally everybody he knows to come and watch Lois Lane sleeping.

Lesbians. 

Superman gets trapped in a bubble. Not a kryptonite bubble, just a regular soap bubble.

And Green Arrow plans to murder a child.

I could post dozens more of the strange situations (like Atom going on a date with a bee, Green Lantern LOSING HIS SHIT over a child trying to pick his flowers, some strange fetishy stuff with giants, Batman refusing to get down off the table, Wonder Woman’s continuous battles against pterodactyls, and Supergirl’s forays into paleontology), but that’d take forever and this post is already pretty long. The Super Dictionary is a wonderful acid trip of a book and I have never regretted purchasing my copy. If you’d like to see some scans, there’s more of them here!

The repetitive synonyms are such a good way to learn new words!! This is so cute and I love it

I inherited my brother’s copy of this as a child and my god it was one of my favourite things

I found my copy in a charity shop in London and I thank my lucky stars every time I read it.

It even made it into DC continuity.  That’s a young Lex Luthor below.

… And that’s terrible.

I have never regretted buying my copy, though it is extremely difficult keeping a straight face when I read it with the grandkids 😉

kakikaeru:

animaniacal:

whiteplum:

earl-of-221b:

whiteplum:

syolen:

whiteplum:

syolen:

whiteplum:

TFW you remember how, each morning througout the Tokyo arc, Kenshin woke up and made a conscious choice to stay in the Kamiya dojo even if he’s a wanderer.

You just had to remind us, didn’t you….

But wouldn’t his thoughts have been something like, “ah, yesterday was good, and Kaoru-dono needs me to go buy more rice today, and I promised I’d make her onigiri so she has a snack between classes at Maekawa-san’s dojo. Guess I’ll stay a little longer”, like he just lives day to day until one morning he realizes that he has been at the dojo for weeks and that… he likes it. He really likes it there. 

“Sano wants me to accompany him to the gambling hall today. And Tsubame-chan asked that we try Akabeko’s new meal tomorrow. Yahiko also wants me to watch him train. And I promised Kaoru-dono I’ll teach her how to make rabbit-shaped onigiri. Guess I’ll stay longer.”

*repeat every day until May 7, 1878 happens*

“Ah, it’s such sunny day, but no one will be around to do the laundry… I’ll do it. Kaoru-dono will want her bath ready for when she comes home this evening. She wants us to go see the cherry trees in bloom… she has a day off three days from now. We could go then, if the weather holds. Guess I’ll stay longer.”

AND THEN MAY 7th, 1878 HAPPENS. 

#you know this is so true that it kind of hurts  #he finds a small mundane reason to keep him at kamiya dojo and keeps finding them and suddenly the girls have labelled his room and #drew pictures on his wall and #there’s a polite note on the table telling him to run down and get some more eggs #and he has to make dinner tonight #and sano’s coming at 2 #when may 7 comes around its too fast too fast #he needed more time #he had a list of things left to do #show yahiko that one move he promised him #go to that kabuki show they’ve already bought tickets to #see their vegetables flower next week #he promised them small things #but there’s no more time #that ticking in his head has finally come to an end – like it inevitably would (via @earl-of-221b)

And then maybe, maybe, that preceding week, everybody who knows a speck of what’s going on bombards kenshin with favours. Kenshin, can you fix that creaky floorboard in front of yahiko’s room? Kenshin, can you pick out another tatami mat to replace the ones in the living room? Kenshin, can you show me how to make a paper lantern? Kenshin, spar with me, no exceptions! Kenshin, here, why don’t you order the food today? Anything on the menu. Anything at all. And Kenshin agrees to all of them because how can he not? How can he say no to these people who need him? Who love him? And all the while he knows he can’t fulfil all their wishes but he’ll swallow his tongue before he’ll refuse, and one day it feels like he’s no longer promising but telling white lies. It’s a week later when he’s doing the last lot of laundry and folding the clothes neatly, when he picks up his sword and it’s already time to take one last look at this dojo. 

For he – and he should have seen this coming, he knows he can’t trust himself – he was selfish for staying here for so long. How could he impede on their lives and live in their home and then leave marks when he knew he wouldn’t stay. He knew. From the very beginning, he knew this was only temporary, that unrest followed in his wake and there was a reason they knew so little about him, how he so wanted to keep it that way. He knew it all and he stayed. And he’s guilty for that. 

And everyone feels the tension after the events of May 7th but everyone — even Kenshin — pretends it does not exist. So he dutifully follows everything in Kaoru’s list of errands no matter how oddly specific they are. He shops for food even if their stock (her stock, he reminds himself) is still full. He lets Yahiko drag him to Akabeko and treat him to sukiyaki for the third day in a row. He humors Sanosuke when the younger man invites him for a drink and allows Megumi to tend to his wounds even if he has already recovered.

But he knows he has to go and he knows they may not want him back. So he finishes the dojo repairs as fast as he can, makes sure their meals are tastier, washes their clothes a little bit longer.

He does not know when he started to subconsciously make excuses to postpone his departure from the dojo, but, as the week goes by and as Okubo’s deadline approaches, Kenshin selfishly admits that he does want to stay.


#he takes one last look at the dojo #goes through all the empty rooms #sweeps some dust #and then he leaves without looking back – and he better not try looking back – he doesn’t have the right to #then he walks this village in one straight direction #until it’s nightfall #you know what? #maybe he was ready to leave just like that #and Kaoru was a fucking coincidence #he freezes and no way – no way in fresh hell – kaoru-dono is standing stark in his path #her back turned on him and her head lowered to see the water #leave – himura – you need to leave #you’ve streaked past battalions without so much as alerting the moths near their lamps #what the hell are you if you can’t get past one girl in the dead of the night #a fucking liar and a fraud too #he says #as his legs go to meet her and his brain is numbing and he does that trick he learnt in the military to never show fear and never show tears #by biting his cheek into shreds #rurouni kenshin: a wanderer that conned a nice innocent kyoto family for weeks on end #that is a huge goddamned mess #who ran into the love of his life like fate wanted to remind him #how dare you #and their reflection in the water as she hugged him harder than he’d allow himself to #look what you’ve done (via @earl-of-221b)


So he freezes when he sees her in Kyoto because he thought he would never be with her again. He left her so she would be safe, but in the end, it was her promise (”Let’s come home to Tokyo together.”) that saved him.

So you guys just want to murder me on a Monday, is that it?

Honestly what the fuck everyone?

stephescamora:

Varda & Manwë 
I wasn’t planning on drawing any Silmarillion art tonight but the inspiration hit so I decided to sketch and post this before I head to bed (besides…its been some time since I drew Silm art</3). 

Hope I can work on this more once I develop their designs again! 

On Twitter (x)
– Do not use or repost my art (esp. on other sites) without my permission –

vixenofcourse:

robotmango:

darnianwayne:

words-writ-in-starlight:

robotmango:

i realize i’m maybe like, the Nichest of markets here, but i really really really desperately want to watch further adventures of Diana Prince, Curator of Antiquities™

…like, imagine the interdepartmental meetings

Diana: we have recently acquired several exquisite pieces of very early minoan kamares ware. i feel a refresh of the gallery might encourage our visitors to–

some marketing dipshit: look, we can’t get people in the door for pottery. we need another big show, like can you get a vermeer or–

Diana of Themiscrya, Amazon, God-Killer, Daughter of Hippolyta: pottery is important

some marketing dipshit, lightly pissing himself: i agree

Not only will I join you in the Nichest of Markets, but I am suddenly stricken by the dismay that can only come from a depressing awareness of how niche this market is.  Does anyone…like…have fic?

“Here you are, Ms. Prince,” says the mail currier. He grabs the tablet from his back pocket, presenting it to her. “If you’ll just sign right there…”

“Of course,” says Diana. She scrawls her name, and the currier dutifully passes over the package. It is reasonably sized, stocky, with the words FRAGILE, HANDLE WITH CARE written along the edges of the Wayne Enterprises logo. “Same time next week?”

The currier laughs. “More than likely, I’d wager. Weird that Mr. Wayne has taken a sudden interest in supplementing the Louvre with his own private collection, but hey. Billionaires, right? Who knows what they’re thinking.”

Diana thinks of the museums in Gotham, filled to the brim with some of the world’s most beautiful antiquities and artifacts, and about Bruce Wayne who cares not a lick about any one them but takes ownership of them anyway for the sole purpose of having free exhibitions open to the general public five days a week. She smiles, agrees, and waves the currier off, until the next time. 

She is examining the dish (Uruk period, likely kiln production, as it is a strange almost-blue tint that suggests a high-temperature controlled oven), when Isabell in charge of Eastern Eurasian arts knocks lightly on her half-open door and lets herself in.

“New delivery?” she asks, nodding to the dish.

“Yes.” Carefully, Diana puts the dish back in its box. She makes a note to have one of her assistants come by later to pick it up and send it down to the lab for testing. “The meeting?”

“Oh, uh.” Isabell in charge of Eastern Eurasian arts clears her throat and looks briefly at the floor, embarrassed. Diana lets her have a moment, used to the reaction. “Yeah. Want to walk together?”

Diana is already walking around her, throwing her disposable gloves in the garbage as she passes. “Sure,” she says anyway and waits for Isabell by the door. Isabell jolts when she realizes Diana is already ahead of her. Diana politely chooses to ignore that. 

It’s only when she is seated besides Isabell in charge of Eastern Eurasian arts and Haruki in charge of philanthropic outreach that she remembers: Timothy in charge of corporate marketing is going to be at this meeting as well.

She nearly groans aloud, already anticipating his tirade on diminishing returns this financial quarter and his chart predicting a downward trend of attendance among younger visitors. 

Timothy in charge of corporate marketing does not disappoint. After the heads of every department say their piece and give the customary updates, Timothy in charge of corporate marketing has an assistant hold out a poster board detailing their declining revenue and inability to attract attention. For nearly half the appointed time for the meeting, he speaks, pointing back to his poster board at regular intervals with frothing enthusiasm.

“Well,” says Diana, when Timothy in charge of corporate marketing finally allows the department heads to speak. “We have recently acquired several exquisite pieces of Early Minoan Kamares ware. I feel a refresh of the gallery might encourage our visitors to—”

“Ms. Prince,” Timothy in charge of corporate marketing interrupts. He is smiling, not unkindly, in the way a headmaster might at a particularly rambunctious child. Diana feels her fist curl, despite herself. “We can’t get people in the door for pottery.” He laughs. “No, no, we’d need something bigger. Grander, you understand. Something that will hold our visitors’ attention. Perhaps if you could get a Vermeer, yes? I hear you’ve been receiving packages from Bruce Wayne himself, and he has a lovely piece, if I do remember correctly. Maybe try asking—” 

The way Timothy in charge of corporate marketing says asking, Diana knows that is far from what he actually means. She is about as likely to follow through with that as she is to ask Timothy for anything.

As calmly as she can, she places both hands atop the table and uncurls her fists. Below her fingers, a minuscule part of the grained wood chips. She extends her spine, sitting straight, and beside her, Isabell in charge of Eastern Eurasian arts swallows. 

“Tim,” she cuts in. “For how many quarters have our returns, as you keep reminding us, diminished?”

Timothy in charge of corporate marketing blinks. He squints. “Well, I would say for nearly six quarters now.”

“Hm. And remind me, how long have you been with us here?”

The room has the same quality of quiet that Diana is intimately familiar with, bordering on dangerous. 

“Nearly six quarters, if memory serves,” says Diana. 

“Now, Ms. Prince,” Timothy in charge of corporate marketing blusters, “if you are implying that somehow I am responsible for the state of our returns—” 

“I am not implying anything. Just perhaps that big shows and singular centerpieces are not the way for us to go. Isabell?”

Isabell in charge of Eastern Eurasian arts jolts and looks up at her, wide-eyed. “Yes?”

“Didn’t you recently acquire some newly discovered Jomon pieces?”

“Yes.”

“Of course, it’s a matter of opinion, but if we were to redesign the gallery to incorporate the different wares from different eras and locales, it might encourage our visitors to learn more about them and could even encourage repeat visits.”

“I suppose…” allows Timothy in charge of corporate marketing. 

Diana stares at him, the same way she might have once stared down her own mother to let her leave Themyscira or even looked down on Ares as he tried to tempt her to his side. She stares at him, and remembers with a certainty that has been granted to her after years in man’s world that he is but a man and like any man, he is fragile and breakable, when she is not. 

“Pottery is important, Tim,” she says.

Trembling, unable to meet her eye, Timothy in charge of corporate marketing agrees.

YOU DID THE THING
YOU WENT FORTH AND DID IT
I SALUTE YOU
!!!!!!!!!!!!!

pottery is important, tim