Tag: asoiaf

squirrelwrangler:

So I just want the stupid fluffy Modern AU ASoIaF fic where Robb comes home nervous and excited to declare he just proposed to his girlfriend Jeyne (Westerling) not just because they’re in love but really more because they just found out she’s pregnant. Ned, Cat, and the rest of the family process this news as Robb and Jeyne walk in. Some didn’t even know he was dating the sweet ER nurse he met after breaking his collar bone. Still, the large family replies of “congratulations,” and “isn’t this a little sudden,” and “c’mon this sounds exactly like something Theon would do”… Misunderstandings and a convoluted game of telephone ensues, where Sansa gasps, “Theon got Jeyne (Poole) pregnant?” and their cousin Jon quietly snarks that it’s still weird as hell that they’re both dating a girl with the same name and vaguely look alike. Sam, Skyping from grad school, nods and refrains from bringing up the Stark ginger fetish. Theon wanders into the Stark family pow-wow because he’s always either crashing at their place or his sister’s, plus the Starks have a working laundry machine, only to be ambushed by Sansa (and Arya, because any excuse to punch people) wanting to know why they weren’t told about Jeyne (Poole) being knocked up. After gaping like a fish for a few seconds, Theon denies it as impossible because they’ve been taking it slow and using protection and haven’t even, past behavior to the contrary, he swears, so stop giving him dirty looks, Sansa. (Robb mutters that this was all Theon’s faulty condoms fault in the first place). Cat invites Jeyne (Westerling) in and as they talk she brings out the baby album to coo over and Jeyne shying fidgets and accidentally reveals way too much information about her and Robb’s sex life. Robb nervously asks his dad for advice, to which Ned, still wearing a neck brace from a bad accident last year, reassuringly pats his shoulder and says, ‘“you’ll do fine, son.” Jeyne (Poole) comes over with celebratory cake and laughs at the misunderstanding. Jeyne (W) mentions the doctor says it might be twins. Jon is suddenly very glad he’s stationed far north and thus can escape babysitting duties. Asha, having received the mangled version of events via second-hand text from the Mormonts, calls her dumb-ass baby brother to scream into the cell about ‘how dare he knock up Jeyne (P), she’s so much sweeter and nicer than his usual booty calls, too good for him…’ As the two siblings have a shouting match in the backyard, Jeyne (P) giggles. She and Sansa converge onto Jeyne (W) to start planning wedding details, as Arya ducks out the front door to escape with friends. It ends with another phone call to Theon, this time from the rest of his family. Cue trepidation as he answers, and before he can get a head-start to explain that it’s Robb and his Jeyne (W), his father is demanding to know why he wasn’t informed (Theon can hear his mother in the background weeping “my baby boy” and ‘oh well they knew they’d never get grand-kids from Asha anyway’. His Born-Again Baptist minister uncle is loudly denouncing carnal sin from speakerphone and Theon’s thankful at least one of the other uncles is under a restraining order and Jeyne (P) is only ever allowed to meet his maternal side of the family, he decides.)

reblogging this as I ponder which I will break down and draw/write first, this or the “Selyse channels Yzma and Lady Macbeth”…

Okay wait, yes I want this really bad, the AU fic where Selyse Baratheon nee Florent decides after she discovers her new brother-in-law the king fucking her cousin in the marriage bed during her wedding, that he needs to die. Forget bitterness. Embrace regicide. That her dutiful new husband so clearly would be a better king, and she has that same cunning ambitious craftiness of Olenna Tyrell nee Redwyne and Margaery. Selyse is getting her revenge on Robert and making Stannis king.

But Stannis is canon Stannis, would ever so proper mindful of his rights and responsibilities and duties would not plot treason against his lawful king, no matter how much he resents his brother. So Selyse will have to plot behind her husband’s back. She has a king to poison unobtrusively, a nephew and a lot of Lannisters to remove, so she needs more than just the normal channels of power. Real reason she invites a shadow-binder of R’hllor to Dragonstone. Stannis’s most trusted friend is a former smuggler? Can work with this, need the black market and criminal underworld ties – just need to be careful to work around his personal loyalty to hubby (“Davos, don’t be so squeamish. Look, it’s for Stannis’s own good, even if he’d never admit it, so don’t tell him. Now help me hide this body and get me Saan.”)

Bonus points if her murder plots are constantly foiled because of Cersei’s own devious plots against her husband, neither lady aware they have (part of) the same goal in mind.

thesistersstark:

Sansa had chased Arya through the stables and around the kitchen until both of them were breathless. She might even have caught her, but she’d slipped on some ice. Her sister came back to see if she was hurt. When she said she wasn’t, Arya hit her in the face with another
snowball, but Sansa grabbed her leg and pulled her down and was rubbing
snow in her hair when Jory came along and pulled them apart, laughing.

bericdondarrion:

I was Theon of House Greyjoy. I was a ward of Eddard Stark, a friend and brother to his children. “Please.” He fell to his knees. “A sword, that’s all I ask. Let me die as Theon, not as Reek.” Tears trickled down his cheeks, impossibly warm. “I was ironborn. A son … a son of Pyke, of the islands.”

kitamere:

Game of Thrones Re-envisioned as Feudal Japan, by Sei-G

This is a set of woodblock prints illustrating scenes from Westeros as if they took place in feudal Japan.

This is officially my new favorite thing.  The meticulous thought behind each woodblock print has me reeling with joy.  For example, the three kanji on the Mountain’s armor are the character for inu, “dog.”  Eddard Stark has been forced to commit seppuku, and has in front of him his death poem, as an honorable samurai would have written.  The wildlings are dressed as Ainu, the indigenous people of northern Japan.

These are brilliant.  Please admire the care taken with each one.