Clark: the world is very complicated and I’ve been raised to be careful with my power because I could change the course of mankind if i just start zooming around the world. I will train very carefully, learn my background, then when I’m ready I will reveal myself to –
Zod: HEY EARTH THERES A NUCLEAR POWERED ALIEN LIVING AMONG YOU. HIS NAME IS KAL. ANYONE SEEN KAL? IM HERE TO MURDER HIM PROBABLY. ALSO ALL OF YOU. LOL SEND HIM OUT.
It’s in the Super Dictionary, a flawless piece of literature that has such other wonderful situations such as cake theft…
shoe-stealing whales…
Green Lantern and Green Arrow fleeing an angry mob (also a duck is involved)…
and “please help me.”
One of my greatest regrets is not owning this book.
Some more highlights from the Super Dictionary:
Superman is friends with a giant who has no teaspoons.
Green Lantern looks at animals.
Joker and Batman are dating.
Robin gets tied up a lot.
Robin in general has a very bad time.
Supergirl’s text says “afraid” but her eyes say something else entirely.
Superman invites literally everybody he knows to come and watch Lois Lane sleeping.
Lesbians.
Superman gets trapped in a bubble. Not a kryptonite bubble, just a regular soap bubble.
And Green Arrow plans to murder a child.
I could post dozens more of the strange situations (like Atom going on a date with a bee, Green Lantern LOSING HIS SHIT over a child trying to pick his flowers, some strange fetishy stuff with giants, Batman refusing to get down off the table, Wonder Woman’s continuous battles against pterodactyls, and Supergirl’s forays into paleontology), but that’d take forever and this post is already pretty long. The Super Dictionary is a wonderful acid trip of a book and I have never regretted purchasing my copy. If you’d like to see some scans, there’s more of them here!
The repetitive synonyms are such a good way to learn new words!! This is so cute and I love it
I inherited my brother’s copy of this as a child and my god it was one of my favourite things
I found my copy in a charity shop in London and I thank my lucky stars every time I read it.
It even made it into DC continuity. That’s a young Lex Luthor below.
… And that’s terrible.
I have never regretted buying my copy, though it is extremely difficult keeping a straight face when I read it with the grandkids 😉
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