Stephanie “They’re in my purse already, shut up!” Brown
Bruce: We can afford those just FYI.
“Silence rich boy, and put some in your jacket pockets!”
Bruce wasn’t entirely sure how he’d found himself in this
situation. He was standing in Costco, staring at Jason and Stephanie as they
stole (for that was the only word he could come up with to describe the scene
before him) samples. Steph with her purse open wide, and Jason scooping still
hot chicken sliders into wax paper before tucking them into her bag.
They’d made their rounds as they collected the groceries
Alfred had sent them for, trying everything once before moving on. Some of the
boxed foods even ended up in their cart, edamame chosen by Damian, fried tacos
for Steph, and some kind of instant coffee Jason swore Tim would love.
When they’d circled back a second time Bruce had assumed it
was because one of his kids had forgotten something they actually wanted. That’s
when his two supposedly responsible (and well fed) wards started stuffing their
pockets.
He cleared his throat, “You do know we can just buy a
package, right?”
Jason had moved down the line to the pot sticker samples
Bruce had favored fifteen minutes earlier. He glanced up at Bruce and rolled
his eyes. From behind him Steph shoved him forward, towards the table and his second
eldest.
“Hush rich boy and open your pockets.”
Caught by surprise, Bruce found himself opening up his
jacket for Jason to dump food into his inside pocket. He squirmed a bit, trying
to pull away from them without stepping on any toes or knocking the food all
over the place.
“Careful when you walk so you don’t break anything open.”
Jason grinned at him before holding up a hand for a high five.
Bruce gave it to him, still a bit stunned by the events
taking place around him. Jason’s grin widened before he turned and strolled
further down the aisle towards another table empty of employee but filled with
still steaming food.
Where was everyone? Minutes ago Bruce hadn’t been able to
walk without stepping over red vested people. Now everywhere he looked there
were only shoppers, not a single helpful employee in sight.
Bruce’s heart jumped not quite to double, but close enough
as he realized that Damian was nowhere to be seen. He’d been by his side the
entire trip, even allowing Bruce to hold his hand when they ran into
overexcited people, eager to meet The Bruce Wayne and doubly eager to pinch the
cheeks of the ten year old by his side.
“Where’s Dam—” the words broke as a laugh broke through the
90s rock playing overhead.
Bruce swiveled his head to see a cart hurtling towards them,
empty of anything but his youngest. Damian’s face was light with a wild grin as
he blew past Bruce, Jason, and Steph. Behind him came a stampede of red,
employees chasing breathlessly after the kid.
From his side, Bruce heard Jason whistle. “Remind me to get
the kid double what I promised him.”
“Promised him?” Bruce turned on Jason and Steph, unsurprised
to find Steph in the middle of eating one of the sliders from her purse.
Jason’s expression read ‘oh crap’ and Steph shrugged, still
chewing. Bruce ran a hand through his hair.
“This is why Alfred doesn’t take you to the store anymore,
you know that right?” he said instead of a reprimand. Maybe this wouldn’t fall
on deaf ears.
“And it’s why he sent you. Though heaven knows why he
thought you could stop it.” Steph grinned.
“He didn’t. He just knew B would bail us out when we got
caught.” Jason picked up the remaining tray of pot stickers and eyed it, like
he was trying to decide if they had room for the rest or not.
They were both right, and Bruce hated them a bit for it, but
it was tempered by the image of Damian racing past them on the cart, and the
bright sound of his laughter as he caused chaos. What would it take to get a
copy of today’s footage? He was sure Costco didn’t have any kind of real security,
which made getting a copy of Damian’s smile and Jason’s high five easy. Maybe
he’d take his kids shopping more often.
“Flood in the seafood section and all employees be on the
lookout for a boy carrying a bag of live crawfish.”
Then again, maybe he’d just ground them all for the rest of
their lives.
“Red Hood AKA Jason Todd. Batman’s second partner. Gun enthusiast. Died on the job, got better.” My half of an art trade with @honbara. I got a fantastic Cass, check it out here!
I just find it funny because I feel like as Robin everyone was like omg Dick is so cool and amazing and he’s got his life together
then as Nightwing it’s like “hey Tim have you seen my other glove?” “it’s in the crocky crunch box, not the one in the sink, the one crammed in the couch”
I think it’s more like Dick started living on his own so he let himself slack a little. He’d lived under the tidy and strict Batman and Alfred ever since childhood! So it’s more like he knows how to clean up he just rather not.
It’s a great comparison to Jason! it feels like Jason is very tidy as he’s older because he grew up where it’s dirty and dark and with no one cleaning up around him/ he had nothing so now that he CAN make things nice and neat he does! I think it’s really interesting!
Tim is pretty similar to Dick but he’s even more messy! It’s like everything that NEEDS to be tidy and neat, his case files, school work, etc. are arranged nice and if you look at him from outside it seems as if he’s got his whole life together and but then you see his room and…
It’s exam week and I am tired. Instead of coherent content, please enjoy this list of random dialogue that I currently have no context for:
Damian listened thoughtfully until Tim got to the end. “So basically we need your help. Any questions?”
“Yes,” Damian decided, after a few seconds of silence.
“Shoot.”
“When did I give you the impression that I cared?”
“Oh come on.”
“What was my mistake?”
“We’re on a timeline here.”
“No, really,” Damian asked, raising his hands in an exaggerated gesture of confusion. “Where did I go wrong?”
“I’m confused,” Duke told him. “Red Hood Jason or Trophy Case Jason?”
For some reason, Tim didn’t seem to understand the question. He pointed across the cave, to where Hood was sorting through medical supplies. “Jason.”
“So not the Robin that died.”
Tim pointed again, slower this time. “Jason.”
“That’s… the same person?”
“Yeah.”
“He didn’t actually die?”
“Oh boy,” said Tim, biting at his lip. “No, he was definitely dead.”
“Was?”
“Short-term. You really didn’t know?”
“It’s not an uncommon name?” Duke could hear the panic in his own voice, but he didn’t feel inclined to check it. “Why would I assume that one person… came back from the dead?? Instead of assuming there are two people named Jason?”
“Oh boy,” Tim repeated. He turned to Damian, who Duke suddenly noticed was smiling in a very unsettling sort of way. “You didn’t tell him?”
Damian shook his head. The smile became downright maniacal.
“Tell me what??”
“It’s a family meeting,” Dick told him. “You have to stay.”
Jason collapsed back into his armchair, glaring. “You know sometimes I think I never actually came back to life? I just died and went to hell.” He crossed his arms. “Because honestly? This could be hell.”
“Stop being dramatic.”
Jason threw him a look that clearly communicated ‘when hell freezes over’ in the most dramatic way possible, or at least that was the goal.
Dick turned away, rolling his eyes. He seemed to get the message. There, Jason thought. Nailed it. He felt better.
“What’s the holdup?” Tim asked, settling onto the couch next to Cass. “Something wrong?”
Dick shrugged. “Bruce says he has an announcement.”
“We have a new sibling?” Tim guessed.
“What? No.” Dick frowned, probably running the odds just to be sure. “Not that I’m aware of, anyway.”
“You had to think about it,” Tim noted, and then turned to face the door as Bruce finally made his entrance.
“I have an announcement.”
“We have a new sibling?”
“What?” Bruce asked. “No.” His eyes flicked upward for half a second, and then he continued, decisive. “No, you don’t.”
“See?” Tim asked. “He had to think about it.”
“I thought you were against this plan,” Duke said.
Damian nodded. “I am, but Todd and I reached an agreement.”
“Yeah?”
“Simple bet,” Damian confirmed. “If it works, I have to go to Drake’s birthday party, but if Todd dies again, I get to put ‘Damian told him so’ on his new headstone.”
“Oh,” Duke told him. “That sounds… fair.”
Damian leaned back against the wall, smirking. “I like my chances.”
[scene break]
At that point, Duke became pretty sure that the plan wasn’t going to work. He looked from Jason, up on the rooftop, to Damian, who was calmly punching numbers into his phone. “Uh. Shouldn’t we go help him?”
Damian raised a finger in a give-me-a-second kind of gesture while he put his phone to his ear. “Hello, Elliot Funeral Home? How much do you charge for gravestones? Midrange. I see. Very reasonable.”
“Damian!”
“Fine,” Damian sighed. “Thank you,” he told his phone. “I’ll be in touch.”
You know, there’s probably one specific picture of Jason that the press uses every time he comes up.
And it’s probably really cute– fifteen year old Jason grinning at the camera, wearing a tiny suit, freckles and all.
He probably hates it.
#*interviewer voice* for our viewers mr wayne is talking about jason todd who– #*angry jason voice* FOR THE LOVE OF GOD THAT IS NOT HOW I WANT TO BE REMEMBERED #*roy losing his shit in the background* #yep. gala pic. I’m callin in now
I have no guilt about my genesis. I dragged myself from death’s door and withstood everything Arkham could throw at me. Batman will not be able to say the same. He’ll die knowing that his life had no meaning. That he was the most criminally insane of them all. Bruce will die finally knowing the truth of who he is.
the man just pulled that damn collar out of ass-nowhere. bam. kapow. he was dressed in a blue jacket and a perfectly well-fitted turtleneck and then the second he decided to undress that collar popped out of his titties like daisies from the graves of the damned
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