Tag: superman

roachpatrol:

comedowntheroad:

raptorific:

I still think it’s hilarious that the reason nobody ever figures out Superman’s secret identity or where he lives or what he does when he’s not saving the planet, is because he already told them all the Kryptonian stuff that can’t be tied to any of his human friends or family. I guarantee you the in-universe wikipedia article on Superman lists his name as Kal-El and the “personal life” section says that he lives full-time at his private fortress of solitude at the north pole. Nobody in the world looks at Clark Kent and thinks “oh my god, maybe he’s superman!” for the same reason nobody ever starts to suspect that their coworker who looks KINDA like Barack Obama is actually secretly Barack Obama – They know who Barack Obama is and know what he does and they know their coworker Greg is Greg and not Barack Obama. They have no reason to assume Barack Obama secretly moonlights as Greg The IT Guy at their workplace even though they’ve never seen Greg and Obama in the same place. At best, “Greg is secretly Obama” would be a running joke at the office, and the same is true at the Daily Planet. “Kal-El of Krypton, who lives in a CRYSTAL PALACE at the NORTH POLE and whose dayjob is SUPERMAN, sometimes puts on a suit and pretends to be a clumsy reporter and lives in a one-bedroom walkup in Metropolis” is a ridiculous concept to anyone who doesn’t already know it’s true

@unpretty

“Hey, that— that guy, in the corner, is that— is that Superman?” 

Clark looks up from his computer at the new intern. “Oh, no,” he says. “You caught me.”

“Clark, you pull this shit every time, man,” his desk neighbor Steve says. “Shut the fuck up.”

“No, the kid’s right, I’m Superman,” Clark says. He gets out of his seat and cracks his back out. “I guess we’re gonna have a superhero fight.”

“Clark, sit back down.”

“Nope. Superhero fight.”

“Clark if you don’t sit the hell back down and finish your article by lunch I am going to tell Perry on you.”

Clark points at the intern. “You get off easy this time, buddy,” he says, and sits back down. 

“So…” the intern says, very lost. “Uh…”

“That’s Clark,” a slightly older and more experienced intern says. “He’s Superman’s asshole twin.”

Recent Action Comics and Superman reveals make this even funnier.

maryjabassa:

bhucewayne:

I’m not a cop, I’m a reporter.

#i swear to goodness #every single person who writes this extensive meta #about this hero and that hero #and how they clearly engage in social justice in their off time #look I love just about everyone #but Clark Kent Was The Original Social Justice Warrior #both in actual real life #like Superman radio drama helping to stop the KKK #and when it comes to who he fought #who his villains were half the time #and it’s here right here #so the next time i hear one more goddamn thing #about a Superman who isn’t trying to save people #I’m going to have to ask if the poor and disenfranchised don’t count as people #because he put his goddamn career #his fledgling career #on the line #and spoke those words #in canon #clark kent is the original fricking cinnamon bun #too good for this world #and i will not hear any more of this ‘unfeeling god’ bullshit #not in my house (via @yarnzipangirl)

ma-at-thought:

cuttydarke:

fernacular:

Y’know, I really enjoy the concept of Clark Kent.

Like, minus the whole superman aspect.

because, like, okay I can buy that maybe he can disguise himself well enough to hide the fact that he’s superman, but i doubt any amount of slouching and glasses wearing can truly disguise that he’s a very tall EXTREMELY muscular man with a jawline that can cut glass.

So basically this newspaper office has this guy who looks like a weightlifter/supermodel just hanging around but he wears glasses and acts like a huge nerd and everyone just goes with it???

Like “Oh yeah, that’s Clark. No no he works here. Oh no don’t bother being intimidated by him, talk to him for five minutes and he’ll devolve into a lecture on proper tractor maintenance. We like Clark.”

 I wonder if the ladies in the office ever drag him with them to bars so they don’t have to worry about creeps trying to harass them like “back off creeps our friend here is 6′4″ and grew up chucking hay bales” 
And then it’s funny because (as far as they know) Clark is like, the meekest lil nerd around. (He don’t look it though!!!!)

It’s just incredible to me that Clark Kent can pull off being a quiet harmless dork while still looking like, well, superman. 

Do you think he occasionally turns up to the office Halloween party wearing a really shitty Batman costume?

Well, I do now.

To me, the core of that attraction is that she is a better reporter than he is. Think about being Superman for a second. The Olympic record for weightlifting is 1,038 lbs., but you could lift more than that as a child. The record for the 100 meter dash is 9.58 seconds, but you can travel over 51 miles in that time. Going to Vegas? You don’t need your X-Ray vision to win at Blackjack, because you can just count the cards while holding down a conversation about nuclear physics. Without really trying, you are better at just about everything than anyone else in the world.

However, (as Mark Waid once pointed out in a podcast with Marv Wolfman) none of that really translates to your chosen profession. Typing really fast does not help your prose. Being able to lift a tank does not help you convince a source to go on record. It is as near to competing straight up with normal people as Superman would ever be capable of. Even then, it comes easily enough to him that you get a pretty lofty perch at a great paper very early in your career. It is just in this one context, there is someone better than you are: Lois Lane.

As mild-mannered reporter Clark Kent, you reach up for the first time in your life and she rejects you.

To me, it is an inversion of the Luthor story. Luthor sees someone above him and feels hate. Superman sees someone above him and feels love.

Dean Hacker, comment on “

Giving Lois Lane A Second Look, For The First Time

” by Kelly Thompson (CBR: She Has No Head!)

I’ve reblogged this before without commentary but I’ll just add that this is one of the reasons why it’s essential to the myth that the Clark Kent identity be “real” in some way. Yes, Superman hides parts of himself as Clark. He keeps his head down. He tries not to draw attention. But he CANNOT be a buffoon. He can’t be a total clown. He MUST be real in some complex capacity because when he is not you mIss this very real and important part of the myth wherein he can legitimately compete against Lois Lane as a journalist and try his best and truly give it all he’s got and LOSE. When Clark Kent is a total buffoon, it robs Lois Lane of her right to go toe to toe with Clark Kent and ultimately WIN. Man of Steel actually ::did:: achieve this by showing her track him around the world to the point where he literally just had to give up because he couldn’t outrun her. Smallville/Lois and Clark/the animated series all achieved this. He needs to actually try to beat her and realize he cannot do it. She’s better. He is second best and he not only accepts this but is delighted and besotted that he could try so hard and someone might still be better. And not just anyone…a woman with zero superpowers.

(via therearecertainshadesoflimelight)